Tag: pain

Categories
ranting

Life is unfair

There is a phrase that we always throw around when we’re having conversations. It is a common enough saying that it has almost become a proverb in its own right. The phrase? Life is unfair. Yes! Now you see that I’m right about people always throwing it around.

This piece is not about the origin, usage, or accuracy of the phrase. I am writing this to address the “unfairness” of life. Life is never meant to be fair. Life also known as nature, is the epitome of unfairness. The weak are at the mercy of the strong. The good are bullied by the bad. In nature, only the strongest or the most cunny will survive to see the light of the next day.

The design of life is meant to be unfair. Check your fingers and you will agree with me. Even our fingers are not equal. Sharing the same womb does not guarantee the same amount of intelligence or success later in life. The moment you are born weak or with a defect, you are automatically at a disadvantage in the race of life. As a human, being born into a poor family shows you the unfairness of life even before you grow up.

Nature is never meant to be fair. The moment you look around and life is perfect, pinch yourself and wake up from the daydream. Life is unfair. Life is unbalanced. The earliest you accept that the nature of life is unbalanced, the happier you become.

Life is unfair. So, focus on getting as much peace and happiness as you can derive.

Categories
Poems

A Coward In Love

I fell in love at the worst time.
I was smitten when I was still a coward.
Scared of uncertainties,
Disdainful of the future,
And scared of rejection.

I loved you like no other.
I ran away from certain responsibilities.
I needed you. Wanted you.
But I couldn’t go further.
Couldn’t go for what I knew was mine.
I loved you, like a boy loves.

Now, I’m a man.
And I feel like I’ve lost you.
I wanted to do things differently,
But the time have changed
You have changed.
The situation has changed.

There’s honey in your name,
And you are the sweetest human I know,
Your words.
Your care.
Your emotions.
You showed me love.
You displayed sweetness.
You’re the epitome of perfection.

I messed up once,
And you took me back.
I promised to do more.
To be better.
To make things nicer.

I stopped saying this.
But my face tells you,
My actions speaks volumes.
You’re awesome.
And for ever and ever.
I’ll always love you.

Categories
Poems

Half empty

Halfway through the night,
Or so I thought!
There’s a glimmer of light on the horizon,
Or so my eyes tell me.
I dropped a cup on the table,
I perceive it as half-full.

But in reality,
I am nowhere near.
The more I strive,
The further breakthrough seems.
The more I fight,
The bloodier the battle becomes.

The sky is bleak,
And my mood is meek.
I just want it to end.
But when would it?

Categories
Poems

There was a time

There was a time,
When savings trumped expenditure;
When dinner was ready before lunch is taken;
When money had meaning;
And honour was recognised!

There was a time,
When love meant love;
When promises weighed more than the words;
When forever was a very long time.
And hardwork was rewarded!

There was a time,
When government governed;
When roads were motorable;
When civil servants were civil;
And human abuse was reduced!

There was a time,
When life had value;
When offices were earned not bought;
When youths were youths.
There was indeed a time.

Categories
Poems

Miserable

I just want it all to end.
I am miserable.
I just want this to end,
I am empty.

I’m am neither happy nor sad,
Neither good nor bad,
Neither concerned nor nonchalant,
I just want to feel alive again.

Feel alive for a long period,
Not just an hour,
Or a day,
I want to feel alive for a long time.

Categories
ranting

Loving and Losing

Hot tears streaked down my cheeks. The rivulets of water soaked my beards till they can’t hold anymore. I took a mirror and looked at my face for a very long time. All I saw was sorrow, emptiness, and a boy just trying to exist.

And for a very long time I’ve been managing. But I don’t think I can continue like this. I don’t want this to continue. I wish it would all end.

Yes, I was deeply in love. Yes, she was the best thing that happened to me in a long time.

Yes, she wants me to let go. Yes, I want her to be happy. So, the fact that I want it to end, I’ll never tell her.

Yes. Life goes on. But can I keep up?

Categories
ranting

Empty

If I’m asked to describe how I’m feeling. If I’m asked to paint a picture of my emotions. If I’m asked to open my mind. And If I agree to do all these, and I open up.
You’d be amazed at the loads of emotions I feel. Or you’d be appalled by the lack of coherency in my feelings.

Empty.

That’s a word that holds a lot of meanings. I’ve loved so much that I don’t have any sense of loving in me again. I gave it all to her.

And in giving all I have, in totally submitting to the exhilarating love I have for her. I have lost it all. My heart, body, soul, mind, and emotions belong to her. But she has devoted herself to another.

Empty.

I’m just a human boy living life as it comes. Like an empty shell moving around and around on the sea. Like a coconut on the ocean, I exist. But my destination is unknown. My life is without direction. I just woke up to sleep again later. I sleep to wake up later.

Empty.

I lost myself trying to find myself. I found her when I was lost. Now, she’s gone. And I know for a fact. This pain will certainly last for a very long time. This feeling of emptiness will shroud me till eternity at the very least.

Categories
Poems

Life is a lie

Out here,
In the open,
Life goes on,
Roots intertwined,
And family trees blossom.
Outside among the vines,
The undergrowth impeding my movements.
I started from the bottom,
Now I’m here,
Still the bottom.
I tried to connect to a root,
I was labelled a parasite,
Hurt. Dejected.
I sprout from the ground,
I was thinned. An outcast.

The shadows lengthen,
The clouds darken,
The plot thickens,
The life became uncertain.
Nothing is comforting.
Life is a farce.
A mirage.
Before you know you’re alive.
The obituary is out.

Categories
Poems

Look At You

Look at you,
Mending hearts,
And building homes.

Look at you,
Guiding others to a treasure you cannot posses.

Look at you,
Building bridges,
And getting carried away in the currents.

Categories
Poems

Loneliness and Numbered Days

The feeling of loneliness;
Even when you’re with someone.
The feeling of not feeling loved;
Even when the one you love most is near.
The feeling of doom, damage beyond repair;
Even when she is always by your side.

Because you know that the days are numbered.
And she’s going to be yours no more.

That’s when you think of 6 feet underground.
You think of the wonders of a sharp razor.
The alluring spirit of a strong rope tied to a stronger tree.
You think of expired poisons and poisonous products.
You think of just ending it all

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